Europa Affair by M.D. Thalmann

Author:M.D. Thalmann
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Static Press, LTD.

7: A “You-Know-What”

Jeff’s enormous fingers punched the nine-digit default code provided by Oxsterbaxen into the ORCA’s airlock control panel. Peter had also uploaded a full set of schematics to Jeff’s interface, as well as a home-cooked software firewall to prevent North-Star from snooping. According to the diagrams, there was a small air-lock in the cargo bay specifically designed to fit a pilot, TODD or human, so that they could go EVA quickly and discreetly without depressurizing the large two-stage airlocks.

The android had no difficulty finding it but did have trouble being discreet in his entrance. He was still getting used to the big body after all. While his entrance wasn’t quiet, it turned out it hadn’t needed to be. The people he was hoping to surprise were in the crew quarters, in the showers.

“Ahem,” Jeff’s voice boomed.

“Not now, TODD,” Marwick said, trying to match volume and be heard over the water.

“Since when do you have a TODD on board?” Melina asked.

“Oh shit, he’s not with you?”

Melina only stared back at him.

“TODD, what are you doing here, buddy?” Marwick said as he turned off the water valve. Over his shoulder, he asked Melina, “Did you close the airlock behind you?”

“Gee, I don’t know, did either of us boil off into space or flash freeze?”

“We did not. Point taken,” Marwick said as he opened the shower door a mere crack.

“Step out, both of you!” the robotic voice boomed once more.

“Jeff, buddy, is that you? Listen, I told you I would pay you back for the dope, I’m just a little short on funds right now.”

“How much does he owe you?” Melina asked, stepping out past Marwick.

“This isn’t about money. Not your money anyway.”

“What do you want, Jeff?” Marwick said, anger creeping into his voice.

“Oh, sorry, I’m still not used to this. It’s not Jeff, it’s me, Peter.”

“Peter? What are you doing here? Wait, how are you Peter?” Melina asked and immediately covered her breasts with her forearm while dropping one hand down to cover her nethers.

“I’ve uploaded myself, a copy of myself, anyway, into this TODD’s neural-frame without Elliot knowing and now I’m TODD, or Jeff, I guess…”

“Yeah, that’s Jeff… So, you’re Jeff now?” Marwick asked.

“No, not exactly. He’s just a sock puppet,” Peter said as clarification.

“Big feet,” Melina interjected, under her breath.

Peter looked at her for a confused moment then continued, “I’m back on Mars eating a taco—”

“Why?” Marwick demanded, more than just a little angry by this point.

“It’s Tuesday,” Peter said.

“No, why are you here without orders from Elliot?”

“I’m here to warn you—”

“About giant feet?” Melina said, a little more confidently this time.

“What? No. Why does she keep talking about feet?” Peter said.

“You mentioned it earlier,” Melina said.

“That’s right, he did,” Marwick said.

“No, I never brought the subject of feet, big or otherwise, into the conversation. She did. I don’t even know what it means.”

“You said that Jeff is a sock puppet,” she explained, “but he’s like twelve-hundred pounds. Those are some big-ass feet.”

“You’re stoned!” Peter said.

“She’s stoned.” Marwick offered as clarification.

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